Black Day… Starry Night

 

I am wearing black today.

I went to closing on the house sale this afternoon.  The buyers go tomorrow morning.  I must be out by 9:00 a.m. tomorrow.  Positivism can only go so far before you hit a wall and simply have nothing left but tears.  Pollyanna’s rose-colored glasses are sliding down her face in a torrent of tears.

I had every intention of dying in my home…

Life, I see has other plans.

In a way this is a death.  A death of this chapter–a HUGE chapter–of my life, my story.  As I’ve gotten older, I am fond of saying: “Oh yes, that happened in another lifetime.”  I’ve never felt a break between lifetimes so starkly, so clearly as now.

Looking back I see many definitive breaks in my theme.  Many overlap, some are minor keys, some (Motherhood) are major flourishes that will brighten my pages until “The End.”

Childhood, leaving home, boomerang back home (a bit of a mess), college, marriage, Fine-Upstanding-Member-of-Society-with-Government-Job, divorce, marriage, MOTHERHOOD, divorce (oh my, what a quick succession that looks to be on paper), depression, entrepreneur, and now… turn the page… to where?

I can guess, I can plan.  Chart the course and do my best to control the path and the direction…

Although… this may be a good point to relinquish some of that control.  Trust a bit more in chance, coincidence, serendipity.  God.

I am going to where I will be able to see stars again…

Millions and gajillions of fabulous stars.

That is all I know.  And for now, that is enough.

Comments

  1. Katinka says:

    Hmm, you forgot to mention leet bear tank in WoW 😛 Hope you wear bright colors soon, and may the stars guide you well!

  2. Ya, that was a pretty big chunk, too, lol! And thanks, my colors are definitely brightening. Dawny and I are cooling our heels in a local hotel til the RV is ready in early July. So far, so good!

  3. To paraphrase Bilbo Baggins, “It’s a dangerous business, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there is no telling where you might be swept off to.”

    May you have the best of adventures!

    • Thanks Greg–As long as those adventures don’t include giant spiders, I think I’ll be good!

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